It Takes a Village!

Back in February and early March, Mother Fran was in the hospital with cardiac issues. I wrote about it in a post titled “It Takes 9”. Currently Mother Fran is at the lake and my sister (Child #7) is living with her. The rest of us have been taking turns staying with them to help out. Mom is 93 and has always taken good care of her health. Between those stays at the hospital and COVID19, it has been a difficult year. Even though her mind remains sharp and she can physically get around, she now needs 24 hour care. I am blessed to have a large family that loves her with a fierce tenderness that can’t really be explained. I can’t fathom how some people do this on their own.

Don’t go it alone! Image by Rolanas Valionis from Pixabay
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I am NOT on a Roll…

You know that feeling when you are on a roll? When everything is flowing along and all is good? When it feels like you can do nothing wrong? For the last few months, I have not been on a roll… I feel rather out of sync lately and not in the groove. I have been in kind of a weird head space where I am not being negative in there but certainly not smelling the roses either! I have to shake this feeling and get back on track.

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay
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Don’t Suffer the Consequences

The small things you do daily matter. They either push you towards health, wealth and happiness or they push you away. If you believe this (as I do), than you understand that creating daily habits that push you in the right direction is critical to staying on the path. The small things either create a more resilient you or they don’t.

People who are resilient weather the bad days more easily than people who are not. They get back up when life circumstances or the playground bully knocks them down. They goof up on day three of a 10 day challenge and start over. They wake up in the morning and are ready to face the day. They don’t throw in the towel until the game is over.

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Not Stopping

I’m not going to beat around the bush here. I’m not going to hold back. I’m going to tell you all about the week I have had. Here goes… It sucked. I know I am usually full of positivity and good vibes but some things can’t be denied and this week was absolutely awful.

My 2013 RAV4 was totaled in an accident involving 4 cars. I loved that car. I was one block from my brother (Number 9’s) house to drop Fenway off for a sleepover. The first three cars were all braking appropriately for whatever reason (I was car #3) and the fourth car was NOT STOPPING. I saw the big blue Durango barreling down on me and was alarmed because he didn’t appear to be braking. He was still going over 30 MPH while the rest of use were almost stopped.

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay
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No Party This Year…

Usually we have a big theme party on July 4th that includes whatever family members are around and some good friends that are part of our extended family. I think it started with a Mexican party many years ago when my sister had a bunch of Sauza Tequila stuff from the restaurant. In years past, we have celebrated Christmas, Easter, Casino Night, the Super Bowl, Hawaiian Night and the Sixties all on the Fourth of July. We have hunted for Easter eggs, exchanged Christmas stockings and tied dyed t-shirts. There is usually a food theme that requires planning, games to be played and we have even busted open a few pinata’s over the years. In case you couldn’t tell, the Fourth of July is a big deal in my family.

Our shirts look nothing like these!
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Failure Leads to Success

When it comes to do it yourself projects, I hear myself say “I can’t do that” or “I don’t know how” and then I give up and walk away. That is the equivalent of sitting on the couch and that is no place to be. I recently wrote about my attempts to try new things and not let my fear of failure prevent me from experiencing success. Recently I tackled changing fuses in my car, fixing a cabinet door and repairing a rust spot on my car. Over the last few weeks, I have experienced plenty of failure on the road to some success and I am kind of proud of myself. Yeah, me!

Update on my readiness to fail!

The fuses were scary! Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay
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My Racing Mind

If there was an Indy 500 for minds, I bet I would be a contender. My mind likes to race, to get a thought and run with it. It doesn’t have to be a good thought, just a thought. In the past, I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks and my racing mind contributed to the problem, hell, it might have caused the problem. I haven’t had a panic attack in about 5 years, but they aren’t really gone. I have learned to identify what triggers them, what mitigates them, how to deal with and how to avoid them.

Does your mind race? Image by skeeze from Pixabay
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With a Capital F

When the COVID19 Pandemic hit, I opted to not return the nursing home in an effort to maintain my health for myself and more importantly for Mother Fran. The thought of exposing myself to a building of over 100 people scares me. This has put a major cramp in my earnings so far for 2020. Luckily, I tightened my belt years ago and don’t need to make a big salary. I have been doing a lot, and I mean a lot of yard work in order to pay my bills and meet my financial goals. I don’t know if/when I will return to working at the nursing home; but I know it will be my decision. That is Freedom with a capital F.

My thoughts on money and how much I need have evolved over the last ten years. I worked primarily for one company for most of my 20’s, 30’s and into my 40’s. I worked my way up from a temporary relief worker to full time staff, to manager, coordinator and eventually director level positions. It was a human service agency so the money was not good, especially when I first started but I enjoyed my work, and met some pretty amazing friends.

Image by Bingo Naranjo from Pixabay
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Feeding the Dragon

Do you have cravings? Cravings for sugar, sweet things, dessert? Cravings for chocolate, brownies, ice cream? Does the wine call you from the kitchen? The beer fridge beg you to visit? Do the chips mandate dipping?

When I eat Whole30 healthy which means no processed foods, no added sugar (of any kind), no alcohol, no gluten, no grains and no dairy; I have pretty much NO cravings of any kind. I eat a healthy breakfast, lunch, dinner and munch on a piece of fruit or a handful of nuts during the day. It is like the junk food forgets all about me.

Image by Anja🤗#helpinghands#stayathome #solidarity#stays healthy🙏 from Pixabay
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Are You Ready to Fail?

Learning something new is hard. You have to get through the awkward stage of being a beginner, of not knowing what you are doing, of failing regularly. You have to get comfortable making mistakes, of asking questions, of doing things over. I realized something about myself recently, I find it difficult to learn new things. Not because I don’t have the smarts to learn them but because I don’t want to put myself in that awkward, beginner stage. To put it in a nutshell – I don’t want to fail.

She isn’t afraid to fail! Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay
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