Are You Ready to Fail?

Learning something new is hard. You have to get through the awkward stage of being a beginner, of not knowing what you are doing, of failing regularly. You have to get comfortable making mistakes, of asking questions, of doing things over. I realized something about myself recently, I find it difficult to learn new things. Not because I don’t have the smarts to learn them but because I don’t want to put myself in that awkward, beginner stage. To put it in a nutshell – I don’t want to fail.

We avoid learning new skills because we worry that people will laugh at us, mock us, tease us because we don’t know what we are doing. We think that we will look foolish, silly, stupid so we don’t even make the attempt. Basically we avoid learning new things because we are afraid. Imagine how the world would be if we all lived this way. We would be glued to our comfy couches and even a pry bar couldn’t get us off! Sometimes choosing happiness requires this awkward stage!

“Innovation does not occur without setbacks. Progress is not made without mistakes. Success does not happen without failure.”

Lake Girl

Are you ready to fail? I am!

I recently wrote about fixing the air conditioner in my car when on vacation in Florida. That “Do It Yourself” experience reminded me about needing to go through this failing stage before beginning to learn a new skill. It was a frustrating experience and water ended up all over the floor of the passenger side of my car, but I did it. The AC now works fine and I didn’t have to spend a dime. And more importantly, I learned a little something about my car and myself!

This past week, I forced myself into failing again and it was successful! My honey and I have been spending the weekends at the cottage, so I can take my time to get it opened up for Mother Fran and Child #7. There is never a shortage of projects to do there and plenty of things I have no idea how to fix. I hinted to her a few times that a few of the stairs to the shed were rotting and beginning to be unsafe.

My honey has taken a few classes on woodworking and the use of power tools with a local carpenter. She has learned some of the basics and has more knowledge than me when it comes to choosing supplies and tools as well as measuring and sawing. I had quite honestly never thought about how a 2×4 was different then a 2×6. I knew they were different but never had to choose between them to fix or build something. Yes, I am a true beginner!

As my confidence in my ability to repair the stairs was probably a 2/10 level, I went into avoidance mode. I chose to do all sorts of other odd jobs before I even looked at those stairs! When my honey asked me if I was ready, I shamefully admitted I was chickening out! Then I decided to put on my big girl pants (as my best friend calls it) and learn something new. I reminded both of us that even if we screwed things up royally, the worst that could happen would be a broken stair.

Every step of this project required us to make decisions and take actions that we were unfamiliar with. Step by step we figured it out, we did it. To remove the first rotted step we tried to hammer it from underneath. Then decided we needed a crowbar to pry it off. I made us high five after each step to celebrate the little things! We never did get the Skil Saw to work properly (turns out the wrong blade was in it) but we did manage to cut the wood with a hand saw. We had to cut one board twice because our measurement was off just a bit. By the end of the afternoon, we had replaced three rotten boards. We gained a bit of confidence, a bit of knowledge and even had fun in the process.

With this new found confidence, I am now considering a few more projects just a bit outside of my comfort zone. A few more projects to feel awkward attempting much less doing. A few more things to fail at and to eventually learn how to do! Time to consult YouTube videos to give me some ideas of where to start! My upcoming projects to fail at and eventually (hopefully) to learn:

• Repair and paint a rust spot on “Rainy” (my RAV4)
• Replace a fuse in “Rainy” to see if that fixes my power outlet issues
• Fix a broken cabinet door at the cottage (it now sits on the floor next to the cabinet) that has a stripped screw and an antique hinge

For many people, these would be simple tasks but for me they are a bit daunting! My fear of failure is strong and my confidence is low. I am tired of living my life in my comfort zone and am ready to fail! Time to pry myself off of the couch and fail a bit!

“Action cures fear”  

David Schwartz

What are you ready to fail at?

Lake Girl