On 7/26/14 I had one of my AHA moments of insight and this is what I wrote down. “I let fear get in my way. Fear of hurting someone’s feelings, fear of feeling stupid. Fear of rejection, fear of not knowing what I am talking about or of not being able to express myself. This is self sabotage and I will no longer tolerate it.”
Fear is powerful. Fear is enormous. Fear needs to be conquered if you ever want to get out of the rut that holds you down and keeps you immobilized.
Some techniques to KICK FEAR OUT OF THE WAY:
- When I find myself in a rut, unable to make a change and immobilized by fear it helps to think about the worst case scenario. Seriously dig deep and think about everything that could go wrong if you choose to make a change. Write it all down so you can review it and ponder it some more. Once you realize you would still be ok even if the worst case scenario came true – then you know you will be OK.
- Write down your dream. Write down why it is appealing to you. Write down how you will feel when you are living your dream. Write down 1 thing you can do today to take a step closer to living your dream. Do that 1 thing. Repeat this everyday.
- When I know the decision I want to make or need to make but find myself unable to pull the plug to make the necessary change I find it helpful to make a list of pros and cons. This works great for choosing between 2 options like deciding to accept a job offer or remain at my current position. Simply spelling out the pros and cons for each option can make it apparent which is the best decision.
- Identify 3 people who you trust and look up to. Now pick up the phone and call them to discuss the decision you are grappling with and get their input. Discuss your dream and your fears about pursuing that dream. Make the fear come out of the dark into the light of day by facing it.
Happiness is a Choice. I choose happiness. In order to be happy I need to KICK fear out of my way.
About 2 years ago I reached the point in my career where I realized I no longer loved my job. I figured out how to take 2 months off and when I returned I quickly realized I still did not love my job. I worked for 7 more months and then quit and moved closer to the lake. I kicked fear out of my way! For the next 7 months I did not work at all. I relaxed, I played and I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted. I realized what I wanted was to relax and play and think and read and spend time with people who I love doing activities that I enjoy.
When those 7 months were up and we closed up the cottage in October of 2014 I found another job and returned to work. That is when I got serious about getting out of debt. I knew I couldn’t walk away from the world of full-time employment while faced with $15,000 of remaining school debt. I couldn’t have the flexible schedule that I craved while simultaneously being buried in debt. From November until April I squashed my debt and it started to get easier to breathe. Click here to see how I did this! By the end of April I was already starting to figure out how to not work full-time so I could spend more time at the lake with my family and more time at home with my partner.
I used the techniques above to Kick Fear Out of My Way and by April 27, 2015 I had a plan mapped out on paper to get out of the rat race. By May 1st my boss had agreed to my changing from 40 hours per week to per-diem status at an hourly rate that worked for each of us. I had a side job working at a seasonal summer restaurant set up for 3 evenings a week and a plan to do some yard work for a few people as well.
On 6/24/15 I wrote the following in my journal: “My plan is in full swing and I am so happy. It is 1:30pm on a Wednesday afternoon and I am on the deck with my dog. This week I will work 15 hours per diem and 13 hours at the restaurant. I am eternally grateful for this life I am living. This is the life for me!”
My dream is to have a flexible schedule with plenty of time to spend with the people I love doing activities I enjoy. My dream is to be healthy, wealthy and happy. If you want to know how I define these terms go check out the About Me page. Right now I am living my dream!
I am learning to pay attention to my AHA moments of insight and no longer allow fear to keep me stuck living a life I do not want.
Seven quotes on the topic of Fear:
- “Action cures fear” David Schwartz
- “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt
- “He who has overcome his fears will truly be free” Aristotle
- “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear” Nelson Mandela
- “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself” FDR
- “There is no beauty in sadness. No honor in suffering. No growth in fear. No relief in hate. It’s just a waste of perfectly good happiness.” Katerina Stoykova Klemer
- “Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.” Will Smith
If you want to get unstuck from whatever is holding you back you need to KICK FEAR OUT OF YOUR WAY. Life is short. Do it now. Yes I mean right now. What 1 thing will you do today to get 1 step closer to living your dream?
Have the courage to choose to be happy. Trust me it is worth it!