Are You My Mother?

Today is Mother’s Day 2018! Who should you thank for Mothering you?

 I am Child # 8 out of 9 of an Irish Catholic family. I grew up with 2 loving parents, with a mom that stayed home to take care of the family and the home. My dad was a NYC police officer who retired when I was about 9, and my parents moved from Long Island to Upstate NY with the 4 youngest  kids.

Can you imagine raising 9 kids? Personally, I never felt the pull of motherhood. I think at a young age I recognized that it was hard work. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids and enjoy spending time with them but at then end of the day, I am happy to return to my quiet home to walk my dog.

This post is to express love and appreciation to all of the women who mothered me in any way! It is for Mother Fran who became a widow at age 66 and even though her children were all grown, had to love all of us enough for 2 parents. She is going strong at 90 and is fiercely loved by her children.

Both of my parents had 2 sisters and my dad had a bunch of female cousins. Needless to say, I had some mothering from Aunts when I was a kid. I remember Aunt Anne chasing me around the campground with a jar of prune juice. I had been constipated and she wanted to help me take care of that problem. She was determined to get me to drink that foul-smelling juice.

I remember going to my Godmother’s house (a different Aunt Ann) for overnight visits; what a change of pace to spend the night in a household with only 1 other kid. She and Uncle Larry spoiled me in a way my own parents simply couldn’t with so many kids. They bought me expensive gifts including a gold necklace and a Polaroid one shot camera.

We did a lot of camping as a kid and one time we were camping in cabins with my Dad’s sisters and their kids. There could have been up to 17 kids and 6 adults. For some reason, what I remember most is Uncle Bud buying us ice cream and sleeping in any cabin that I wanted. There was a Mother figure that loved me and the rest of us in every one! On holidays, we would get together with Mother Fran’s sisters and their kids. Too many kids to count and 3 strong women keeping  a watchful eye on everyone!

As Child #8, I have plenty of older siblings and that includes 5 sisters. Children 1-3 are all girls and did plenty of mothering duties to us younger kids. Child #1 became Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and probably the Tooth Fairy at  some point. She still tries to mother me at times and I love her for it! I remember my sister-in-law Rainy along with my 3 oldest sisters mothering me even though they were only teenagers at the time.

I started working at a restaurant in 1980 and the owners quickly became part of my family. It was run by a husband and wife team who became like another big brother and sister to me. I am forever grateful to them for taking an interest in me as a kid. They took Child #7 and I to the State Fair, to NYC, to P-Town. This adopted big sister of mine, still mothers me and I recently wrote her a letter to express my gratitude!

At my first real job after college, I had a boss that didn’t do a lot of mothering. She didn’t have kids of her own and was serious about her work. She was a bit intimidating at first but quickly became my friend and my mentor. I learned a lot from her about how to lead and how to run a department. I have always looked up to her and respected her and am grateful for the influence she has had on me.

I have plenty of friends who are Mothers and I have had the honor of seeing them raise some pretty amazing children. I have seen these women struggle with difficult times, pull their hair out with worry and concern and show amazing love and loyalty to their kids. I have seen my own sisters and sister-in-laws put their kids first every time and never think twice about it. Now I watch my nieces and my nephews wives raising the next generation of kids. There a lot of lucky kids being raised by some amazing women in my life.

Take a minute today, Mothers Day 2018, to thank someone who has mothered you! In the words of  Luke Bryan “most mama’s oughta qualify for sainthood”.  It only takes a minute to express gratitude for the people in your life who have made you the person you are!

Lake Girl